Some Title For My Story
I don't really understand why I love him. He's so irritating, I feel like I want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. Zach see right through me, reads me like a book. With him, I have no walls up, I'm vulnerable. And he know's that.He preys on weaknesses and tries to tear me down. But what he doesn't realize is that with him, I feel strong. When he knocks me down and I come back swinging, I'm strong. I may be vulnerable, but I've got nothing to hide anymore. That's a strength that Zach doesn't have.
He has walls of secrets built up around him, protecting him from the world. Sometimes, when he looks at me with those blue eyes, I can see him without the walls. Other times, I just want to tear down the walls, one by one, until I get to him. It's like he's drowning in a sea of secrets, and all I can think about doing is saving him. He didn't used to be like this, there has got to be some way to get the old Zach back.
He used to look at me, with that goofy smile of his and I would just melt. He felt safe, like I could have my guard down and he'd protect me. That was the old Zach. But sometimes I think that I like the new Zach better.
With the old Zach, I could be weak and it wouldn't matter. But with the new Zach, I'm never protected. You could think of that as weak, or you can think that you're going to be that much stronger when you win.
Some people say that I shouldn't be with him. That he'll break my heart. Sometimes I think that I should break his heart instead, to show that I'm stronger than he'll ever be. But that wouldn't work. What Zach fools the girls with- what he fooled me with- is that we think his heart is just buried down deep. That we can still save him. But that wouldn't work. I can't break his heart, and nobody can save him anymore. Because Zach doesn't have a heart, he hasn't for a while.
I take fistfulls of his shirt, and kiss him hard. He presses up against me, closing up the gap between us. The pressure of his mouth on mine sparks up a flame. Kissing him is like a drug, it's almost to impossible to quit.
Loving him isn't easy. It's a push and a pull, a rush of adrenaline. An ache because I love him so much it hurts. Loving Zach is like jumping off a cliff, you know that in the end you're going to be laying there, broken. But the rush of energy on the way, it's golden. I know that he'll break my heart. But until then, I'll run with the rush, jump off the cliff, and love him so much it hurts. That's what Zach does to me.
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